The wait is almost over!
Sleeping Angel (Soul Connection, #2) is releasing March 26th! This can be read as a stand alone, but characters from Peaceful Slumber DO make an appearance.
This is a paranormal romantic suspense novel.
Blurb:
Logan
Everyone thinks I tried to kill her on purpose.
Sure, she's part of the reason my sister is dead.
I'm angry, I won't lie.
But I never meant to hit Angel.
On the anniversary of my sister's death, I felt so much pain until I couldn't.
I made the worst mistake of my life.
The fate of my future lies in her hands,
and I have to come to terms with everything I've done.
Angel
From one life altering event to another.
I'm the girl always in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Haunted by the past, uncertain of the future.
I dreamed of becoming someone else and erasing my existence.
Now my wish is about to come true.
Not only can I not escape my own nightmare
I'm now living someone else's.
The one man who understands the guilt I feel
'is the same man who put me in this position in the first place.
Prologue
2016
Logan
“Here
we are, lovely ladies,” I say to my fifteen year old sister, Andi,
and her three best friends. “First stop, the beach.” I climb out
of the car and open the door for Andi, holding out a hand.
She
loves it when I do this. She always tells me I set the bar too high
for what a good guy is and how she'll never find anyone who will be
as much of a gentleman as her big brother. I'm not always this way,
but I love to play it up for Andi and the girls.
My
sister's eyes light up. Just the effect I hoped for. “Happy
birthday, Andi. I hope fifteen is even more amazing for you. In half
a year, we'll work on your driving.”
We're
not certain she'll be able to drive, but it won't stop me from taking
her out on the back roads to give her lessons, anyway.
Andi
was born deaf, and with that, she's never strengthened her vocal
chords, so she's mute.
I've
never once heard her voice, but my sister, she speaks to my heart.
Her
grin widens, and she signs her response. “I love you, Logan.”
“Will
you wait for me until I'm eighteen?” Andi's best friend, Liza,
teases.
I
ruffle her hair. “You'll be famous by the time you're eighteen. You
won't even remember ol' what's his name when you're the second
biggest star.”
Liza
gasps. “Second biggest star?”
“That's
right. First place always belongs to my sister. Andi's always my
number one.”
Her
eyes flash with amusement and understanding. “Like seriously, give
my jackass brother pointers. I am falling hard for you, Logan McVey.”
I'm
pretty sure she's only partially joking, but I'm not going to lead
any of Andi's friends on. Even if I didn't currently have a
girlfriend, I'd never make a move on one of them.
Andi
hugs me again, then signs to her friends. “Told you he's the
best.”
“I
might not be the best after spending the weekend with the three of
you,” I tease, “especially with the all night laughs. What if you
keep me awake? I'm a grouch when I don't sleep. Betcha Andi won't
tell you that. And you'd better not get any notions in your mind
about practicing makeovers on me.”
“What
are you, the big, mean monster in the middle of the night?” Janelle
shoots back at me with a smile on her face.
I
raise my hands and wiggle my fingers. “Might be. Rawr.”
The
girls run toward the ocean, screaming, except for Andi. She beams at
me, squinting in the sunlight. “Thank you for this weekend,”
she signs quickly, but I know exactly what she's saying.
It
hasn't been an easy year. Andi started high school, and there are a
lot of assholes who pick on her because she's deaf and doesn't speak.
Sometimes, she comes home frustrated and in tears, and I take it upon
myself to be the one to cheer her up. That means late night adapted
movies, root beer floats, and pillow fights.
My
little sister is everything. My whole world. I love this girl, and I
know once she finds herself, she's going to shine. Until then, I'll
do everything in my power to bring good days and rainbows in her
life.
Andi's
my inspiration. She’s the reason I'm going into the field of
teaching. Every time I feel like I've lost my way, she finds me and
sets me straight again.
Where
would I be without Andi? I don't want to find out. Ever.
Tapping
my camera bag, I sling an arm around my sister and make sure I look
at her so she can read my lips before speaking. “You're welcome,
Princess Andi. Now come on. We've got pictures to get. Gonna attempt
my photography skills for the star of the weekend.”
Andi
wants to have a photo shoot, but doesn't want to deal with strangers
she doesn't know trying to get her in the right position for the
photos, so I promised her I'd do my best.
She
grins like the Cheshire cat. I adore the happy smile on her face. I
haven't seen it in a while. If I can bring her some excitement for a
few days, then I'm going all out. A trip to the beach, Disneyland,
Universal Studios … yeah, I'm going full on spoiling, but I don't
give a shit.
Mom
and Dad were unable to get the weekend free, so I said I'd take full
responsibility for the girls so that Andi could have a memorable
birthday.
Andi
sprints toward her friends, her long, raven hair blowing in the
breeze. As the sun sinks lower on the horizon, we spend the next hour
posing and running through the waves as they crash on the shore, then
we find a place and grab dinner.
Late
that night, before I say goodnight to the girls, since I'm staying by
myself in the room next door, I wrap Andi in a hug. “I love seeing
you smile,” I sign to her when I let go. “I need you to promise
me something.”
She
eyes me, raising a brow in response. She doesn't have to sign for me
to know she's waiting.
“If
anyone threatens you, bullies you, or hurts you again, you tell me.
You tell me exactly who they are, because I will ruin them.
I've been terrified this year, Andi. You aren't yourself.”
A
tear slides down her cheek. “I'm sorry.” She rubs her fist
in a circle against her chest. “I don't want to bug everyone all
the time. I just want to be normal, not feel like I'm tattling every
day because some jackass said something mean.”
It's
a hell of a lot more than mean words, and I know it. Andi can't hide
that from me. I rest my hands on her shoulders. “But it's becoming
too common. I don't want you to feel like you have to get used to it.
I love you, Andi. I want the best for you.”
“I
know you do,” she mouths in silence, “but I don't want you
to get in trouble, either. You have a temper sometimes.”
I
let out a laugh. She doesn't know the half of it, but I'll never stop
when it comes to making sure bullies know to stop fucking with my
sister. “Maybe I do, but when it comes to you, I'll fight. I'll
always fight.”
“I
don't want fights. I want happiness. There isn't enough of
that in the world lately.”
“Then
be happy, Princess. I'll be on my best behavior, but you have to work
with me here, too. I don't want to hear how many times someone's been
a jerk to you. You don't deserve it.”
She
throws her arms around me, and I hug my sister tight. If anything
happened to her, I'd be a wreck.
Sometimes,
I'm scared to death she's going to get sick and tired of the pain one
day. She's become somewhat reclusive and sullen. Mom and Dad have the
same worry.
I'm
the only one who's able to reach her, but even I know she's not being
completely honest. How can I get it all out of her so I know what
we're facing?
I'll
fight for her. Always. I make a silent vow to watch over her. To
protect her. I won't make a move against anyone who's nasty to her
unless she asks, but my sister will be treated with the respect she
deserves. And damn anyone who goes against that. They'll feel my
wrath.
*****
Eight
months later
Staring
at the last email from my now ex-girlfriend, a sigh blows past my
lips.
What
went wrong? All of a sudden, she stops talking to me. Completely
blows me off. We've been together for over a year. I don't even
understand.
Then
I happened to spot her with someone else.
Another
man.
Making
out in public, of all things.
She'd
looked right at me without a damn regret, and then kissed him again.
This
happened a week ago, and I'm still wrapping my mind around the
situation.
The
doorbell rings. Why does my damn apartment have to have a doorbell?
As if I want to know someone's on the other side of the door trying
to reach me.
I
take the pillow and shove it over my face, letting out a grunt of
frustration. Then I climb out of bed and stomp toward the door. I
don't feel like having company.
“Who
is it?” I snap, then yank the door open. My stance softens.
My
sister steps inside. “I'm here to keep you company and cheer you
up. You're always trying to bring out the smiles in me, so it's my
turn.”
Andi's
presence melts my heart. I don't want company, damn it, but no way in
hell am I turning my sister away.
“Thank
you, Princess,” I say before hugging her close to me, not wanting
to let go.
“She
didn't deserve you.” Andi narrows her eyes when she steps away.
“Only an idiot would let you go.”
“Don't
tell your friends I'm newly single,” I tease. “They'll be lining
up again, and I'm not ready for that.”
Andi
laughs, then signs, “I won't tell. I'm good at keeping secrets.”
I
know that she is, all too well.
I
wish she could hear her laugh. It's heartwarming. Andi doesn't know
her worth. One day, I'll find a way to show my sister everything
she's meant to see.
“Want
to take some frustration out on the court?”
Raising
a brow, I can't help but grin. “You up for that?”
“I've
been practicing, butt head.” Andi shoves at me playfully.
“You
best bring your stuff, little sis,” I say before heading to the
closet to grab my basketball, glad that she chose to come over. I've
never reached out to Andi when I've been hurting, and she came to me,
knowing more than I did about needing someone.
There's
always that someone. The one person to bring out a smile in you, even
when you don't feel like it. The person to cheer you up when the
world beats you down. The one person you can share a laugh with over
anything, at anytime, and you feel like it's all right.
Andi
is, and always has been, that someone for me.
My
sister is my best friend. We have six years between us, but it
doesn't matter. She's the sun in my dim universe, and I haven't shown
her that much lately. Having a girlfriend and suddenly being single
made me open my eyes. I've neglected my time with Andi without
realizing it, which means I haven't been good at keeping an eye on
her. That leaves me sick at heart. What the hell have I missed?
“Hey.”
I tap her on the shoulder so she turns and looks at me on the way to
the basketball court. “I'm sorry I've ignored you so much lately.”
Her
expression turns into a frown. She puts her hands together and flies
through the signs. “You haven't.”
“You
sure? I feel like I let you slide down to second place.”
“I
can't always be your first place, Logan. You deserve happiness, and
I know you had it for a while. I liked that you opened your heart to
someone. I'm just sorry she ripped it out and gave it
back to you with little answer as to why.”
“You
bring me a happiness I can't express in words.”
“Will
you still say that when I beat your ass out on the
court?” She grins.
“Language,
young lady.” I wag a finger at her.
Andi
laughs again. I'm pretty much the only person she laughs out loud
for. She's told me as much. It means everything when she's
comfortable enough to share something with me that no one else gets.
I
point to the basketball court. “Last one there's a rotten egg!”
Andi
plays a damn good game, but I win. Still, we had a damn good time. I
take her back to the apartment, and we both cook dinner. While it's
simmering on the stove, we catch up. School, life, everything.
Except
I have this horrible feeling Andi is keeping something from me, and
as much as I prod and poke, she's not budging.
There's
not much I can do but let her know I'm always here for her. She'll
talk when she's ready.
*****
Two
months later
The
frantic call comes in at six o'clock on a Saturday. Mom is in
hysterics, and I barely understand a thing she's saying.
“Whoa.
Mom, calm down,” I plead. “Talk to me slowly. What's going on?”
I've been in my apartment most of the day, studying. I need to get
back on track after the last couple months, so this test has put a
lot of weight on my shoulders. The school year is nearly at an end,
and this isn't the only final I have to deal with.
“Andi.
S-she hasn't come home. I thought maybe she was with a friend and
forgot to tell me, but I've been calling every single one and no one
has seen her since lunchtime.”
The
hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. “What? Why
didn't you call me right away? I could have been out looking for her!
I'm coming over right now!”
I
don't give her time to reply. I hang up, grab my keys, and toss a
shirt on. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been washed in three days, but
I'm determined to get to my parents' house and find my sister ASAP.
The
last two months have hit me harder than I ever expected. I kept
telling myself I'd do better the next day. Keep my promises, stay
sane, and not think about all the screw-ups.
Except
I haven't.
There
are nights I'd find myself drinking more than usual.
Andi
would come by several times a week, and on those nights, I'd stay
sober. If she knew I was feeling miserable and lonely, she didn't
say.
But
I should have asked. I should have been more on top of everything,
including the bullying situation.
Because
tonight, while searching for Andi, I'm learning that I have been a
complete asshole.
Her
situation at school is far worse than I imagined.
How
do some of her friends know more about this shit than I do?
Back
at my parents' by nine with no luck, I pace the living room while my
mother makes another call.
Police
show up, and they take our statements.
My
gut is sick with worry. With anger. Fear. Disgust.
“I'm
sorry,” I mutter to Mom and Dad after the cops leave.
“For
what?” Mom looks at me funny.
“I've
been so wrapped up in myself and my pity me post break-up that I
haven't been giving Andi the attention she deserves.”
“Logan...”
Mom sighs. “As close as you two are, you both have your own lives.
I admit, I've been worried about you, too, especially since you
picked up a drinking habit, but you have nothing to be sorry for.”
*****
Three
months later
Hours
turn to days.
Days
turn to weeks.
Andi
hasn't come home.
Every
single day, I go back and sit in her room, pick up her favorite
comfort items, sift through her stuff, hoping for a diary where she
confessed all of her teenage secrets.
There
are none.
No
signs of her.
Did
she run away to start all over again? Is she dead? Safe?
Does
someone have her?
Does
she think about all of the good days we had?
Does
she know how much I love her?
Sometimes
I catch myself asking did she, but fuck that. I refuse to give
up hope. I will not speak of her in the past tense.
My
sister has to come home.
She
just has to.
A
few of my friends have been around, getting me through, but the
drinking, it's not any better.
I
can't help it. Can't stop it. I've been drowning my misery in a stiff
drink. The loneliness from several losses in the last few months have
taken a toll.
I
clutch Andi's favorite blanket in my hands as I sit on her bed once
again. She's had this thing since she was about five or so. It's pink
and hideous, but it's her must have to be able to sleep.
I
don't even give a shit this time. I let myself go. Tears fall. “I'm
sorry, Princess. I failed you. Come home, okay? We'll play on the
courts, or we can go to the movies and see all the chick flicks you
want. I need you, Andi.” Wrapping myself up in her blanket, I stand
and take another look at her room.
The
same thing I've been doing for months: waiting, waiting, and waiting
some more, hoping we hear news of her whereabouts. We don't know if
she's alive, if she's in the state ... nothing.
No
trace. No sign. No leads.
Picking
up one of the photos on her desk, I smile through my tears. It's one
of us at the ocean on her fifteenth birthday. Her smile is etched in
my memory. I never realized how much we look alike until this photo.
We've both got the same raven black hair. The same blue-green eyes.
She's seven inches shorter than me. Anyone can immediately tell we're
related.
Will
I ever see that smile again?
“Logan.”
I
barely hear her, but when Mom comes in and sits next to me, the
devastation is in her eyes.
I
can't hold it in.
“No...”
I whisper, afraid of what she's going to tell me. I don't want
concrete proof. I can't take it. The looks are enough. Don't let
the words come. I want to be wrong. I want to be wrong!
“Angel
McCready just came forward. She provided information that now has two
boys in custody. I don't know much else at this point.” She looks
away, about to break. “Other than...”
“Andi...”
I croak, not ready for this.
“She's
… she's not coming home, Logan. She was murdered.”
I'll
never forget the words. The pain. The way my world fell apart on the
day my worst fears came true.
I
lost my sister. I failed her. I couldn't protect her like I always
promised I'd do.
*****
I'm
not going to be able to sit through this trial much longer. Several
days in, and I'm already fueled by anger.
Those
assholes.
Sick
fucks.
Guys
I thought were my friends are the biggest enemies of them all. Gabe
Holden and Seth Layle are fucking murderers.
Having
to sit and listen to Seth talk about how he dated my sister, and when
she tried to break it off with him, he stalked and tormented her
until the end.
Until
they killed her.
The
night Angel saw something was the night Andi first tried to break
things off. It was why Seth was angry. Why she didn't fear him
completely, which went fairly unnoticed to Angel.
But
she'd seen enough and hadn't done a damn thing.
Had
Angel stepped in, maybe things would be different. Andi might still
be here, instead of having to properly bury her just days after
Angel's information brought on the arrest.
My
hands ball into fists as the sentencing comes in.
Life
in prison.
Seth
looks at me, and the fucktard smirks. I shoot to my feet as the
courtroom erupts in chaos.
“Don't,
Logan.” Mom grabs my hand. Her eyes are red. Mascara runs down her
cheeks. Dad is next to her, but since this whole thing, they've
separated. I don't know if there's any chance of reconciling. He
barely speaks to her, or to me.
“But
he...” I start.
Mom's
expression doesn't change.
Seth
and Gabe are already out of the courtroom.
And
then Angel approaches me.
“Logan.”
She reaches out to touch my
hand. “I'm so sorry.” Her bright blue eyes are
bloodshot, and I know she's been crying.
hand. “I'm so sorry.” Her bright blue eyes are
bloodshot, and I know she's been crying.
Rage
fills me again. “You could have saved her, had you paid
attention. You're selfish! How dare you come apologize to me!
I'll show you sorry!”
“Please,
I-” She speaks again, completely shaken and flustered.
“Leave
me the hell alone!” I roar. All eyes are on me now.
I
don't remember much else. Blinded by grief, anger, and revenge, I
know that I'm going to spend a long time not only hating those
assholes, but Angel McCready, too.
Nothing
can bring Andi back to me.
I
hate them, and I hate myself.
Chapter
1
2019
Logan
Routines
are usually a good thing. Except for mine.
Every
anniversary, birthday, holiday, or other significant occasion, I'm in
the same place, doing the same thing. I know it's wrong, I know I
should be somewhere else, but I end up in the same place, doing the
same thing.
It's
like being on autopilot. I can't make myself change it.
First
stop, the cemetery. I hate this place, but it brings me closer to
her.
Regret
follows me every step of the way.
I
can't let go. Not after two years.
I
blame myself, but even more, I blame her. Angel McCready.
Her
name is a lie. No, I don't mean she's faking it. She's no angel.
I
watch her, day after day. She probably knows it. I don't give a shit.
I want to see what she's doing. How can she go on with her life
normally?
She's
a killer.
Angel
didn't kill anyone by her own hand, but her silence did.
Some
days, I want her to die. I shouldn't admit this, people would think
I'm a sick dickwad, but I wish she'd suffer, the way my sister did.
Both
of my parents warned me I should never have gone to the trial. I was
too close to Andi, and hearing the words from her killers stole
anything remotely decent left in my already battered soul.
I've
gone through grief counseling. I've talked to people. Not about the
real deep stuff, but enough to satisfy my parents.
It
all comes down to guilt.
I
can blame Angel all I want, and I do, but part of it lies on me. I
brought those fuckers into my sister's life.
I
didn't know.
How
was I to know they'd been tormenting her? How was I to know that Seth
had a thing for her, they'd dated, but Andi wanted to end things? How
was I to know Seth refused to take no for an answer?
I'd
tried to get Andi to talk so many times, but I should have tried
harder, no matter what.
And
I didn't.
Seth
was supposed to be my friend.
He'd
looked me in the damn eye all the time.
Behind
my back, he made my sister's life hell until he drowned her. Held her
underwater until she took her last breath.
And
he'd smiled at me right before they took him away.
All
I wanted to do was kill him right then and there.
Stopping
before her headstone, I trace the lettering of her name. “I miss
you, Andi. You would have been eighteen today. You were supposed to
graduate high school. I should have been a better brother to you. I
hung out with the kids I thought were cool, got stupid with them, and
look how it turned out. You're gone.” I slump against the
headstone.
Holding
the picture of my sister in my hand, I stare at it. She had so much
life left in her. She'd still been the life of the family.
Now
gone, my parents can't stand the sight of each other and have moved
on.
I
wanted to go to school, become a teacher, and get the hell out of
Payson. I wanted to help Andi with her college courses and help her
achieve her dream of becoming a chef.
We
made a damn great team.
That
all changed the fateful, heartbreaking day she disappeared, then
again when I learned she'd never come home.
I'm
still here, labeled as the town drunk. At twenty-four years old.
“I
would have driven the limo for you and your friends to attend prom. I
probably would have scared the shit out of your date, but he'd know
not to mess with my sister.” I choke back a cry. “Damn it,
Andi, it's not fair!”
I
lay the flowers down. Tulips. Her favorite. They'll wither and die in
this late August heat, but I'll replace them when that happens.
“I
wish you'd talked to me. You should have known you always could, no
matter what. Happy birthday, Princess. I miss you. I miss you so damn
much.”
I
could make tonight different. No drinking. No going to The Lounge,
where Angel's brother Russ still works as he slowly pays his way
through college, doing exactly what the hell I'd planned to do.
Except
as I drive off after saying goodbye to Andi, The Lounge is exactly
where I end up.
Same
stool. Same drink. Vodka. Straight up.
It
doesn't help that Russ is there, serving me. His eyes are full of
sympathy as he greets me. “Hey, man.”
“Same
as always, please, and no comments.” I slam my fist against the bar
top, startling him. The anger rages a war tonight. The pain and
emptiness follows suit.
Russ
shrugs and brings me two of what I want.
After
downing the first one, the liquid burns my throat. I wish it would
burn out the pain still living inside me.
Time
for the second.
And
another.
And
another.
I
don't know how many I've had, but after a while, I get what I've been
craving. The feeling of misery surrounds me. Sounds are muffled. I'm
drunk, and fuck, I'm crying. Sobbing to the bartender about my life,
and it isn't even Russ.
I
think I just smashed the glass, crushed in between my shaky fingers.
I see red, there's people rushing toward me with napkins and
bandages, but I want nothing to do with it.
Then
I leave.
When
I get to my car and reach into my pocket, it dawns on me that my keys
aren't in there.
Fuck,
Russ must have known and snatched them.
Whatever.
I'm not going back inside right now for them.
I
stumble down the street, pissed at the world. A walk will do me some
good.
I
don't know how I managed it without getting hit or falling, but the
next thing I know, I'm standing in front of Angel's house.
She's
having a damn party.
On
the night of what would have been my sister's eighteenth birthday.
How
the fuck could she?
How?
Rage
consumes me, and I rush inside, ignoring the shouts from people.
"What
the hell is going on in here?” I slur. The bass from the music is
too much. Overstimulating. I can't control the anxious state of mind
hitting me hardcore.
“Logan?
You're drunk, man,” someone says.
“Ya
think?” My vision blurs, and I swear I'm seeing things. The guy in
front of me looks like Link, the hero from the Legend of Zelda. I
blink several times. Nope, still there. I rub my eyes and hope for
the best.
“It's
Scott,” the guy says. “Maybe it's best we get you out of here,
huh?”
“How
could she have a party tonight? Angel's a cold hearted bitch!”
A
hand lands on my shoulder. “Let me take you home, Logan. You don't
need this, and neither does Angel.”
“Fuck
her!” I shout.
It
gets eerily quiet in here.
“Sleep
it off, Logan.” Ah, there's Russ. “You should have been cut off
long before.”
“Then
ya shoulda done your job, jackass,” I snarl at him. “What do you
know, huh? You ever suffer a loss?”
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